Why Didn’t I?

When your dying

Then you remember when

Just as an example

You made yourself live

Because you thought that life was convention

But it’s not

Live your life

Smile your smile

Measure your own mile

Because when you die

You don’t want to say

Why didn’t I

Buyer Beware

The boy who bought the pit pony

That saved his Fathers life

Then ruined his life

And cost him his wife

Was close to cracking in the homeless doorway

He lonely shared with a sleeping Tony

The life saving – ‘s gambling away alcoholic pony

Which was named for fun after Blair endorsing

A piss taking pony that had ruined the life

And cost him his wife

After years ago

Saving his Fathers life

Of the boy

Who bought a pit pony

Sake for4 x

Me and my brother outside the French x

I  sat and smiled and loved my London.

Then cried as hard as you can do after a fight son.

Being bothered i see left a long time ago.

What’s left is a list to make a coin or more on the property theft thought.

Silly stupid step, we’ll take.

But we will all get over the mistake that we make.

For property’s sake.

Getting Bowie at least twice x

For me it was twice.

I knew of course he was always there.

And you had to share him with everyone.


Ashley who i miss, loved Bowie so much.

And at that time, in that Forest Road flat.

I didn’t get the musician level that Ashley got.

But I had had my first being touched by Bowie already.

Which meant i could agree.

A lot!

I was 7 when i heard of a Starman.

Waiting in the sky.

It was oh so magic for me.

And might have  helped years later.

My muddled mind to be free?

I’m so sure my older sister stacked it up to drop.

Sandwiched in between,  “you wear it well…” Rod.

And David “could it be forever?”

For me though it was twice.

I always liked and knew he was there.

As i shared him with everyone.


With Jenny who I still sometime’s randomly meet.

When I have to park near her flat on Wedmore street.

Where we danced and laughed like a couple of Kooks.

Which for me was the twice.


My heart was touched by the brilliance of Bowie. ♥️


A Corsica Memory x

Corsica memories.
Well i’ve smiled at florence alone at the bar, been fourth on the bill with Paloma.

Picked up Derick Carter from Heathrow in my Citroen, and listened to Lydia Lunch.

Who later signed her book for me, and much more you see.

I’ve twice drank with Dave Ball at the bar, i worshipped Soft Cell after all… (thank you Amanda)

I got fruitbat from Carter to sign a note for my brother.

As he was sitting upstairs at my desk.

And i’ve seen with much sadness security melt, as Peaches tried to enjoy a night out.

I liked her without doubt.

And why shouldn’t i say.
Paulie Paul

Diary of a Nephilim : part one

Ged had used his power only twice since his unfortunate marooning. Once was to save a soldier in 1914 and twice was to create for himself a vast amount of wealth which he cleverly and naughtily linked to this life, and any future one. To restrain the guilt he felt for such a selfish tamper, he angelically decided that the enormous vulgar amount of human related wealth would be used for the good of some of mankind.He had read and loved the ‘The Count of Monty Cristo” in both of the lives he had lived since it was written; after-all…

I should at this point explain that Ged was once an integral part of the beautiful majesty known to most as heaven.

To Ged though that all seems like lifetimes ago. (Sorry)

Following on with the line of my previous sentence i feel at this point i should explain Ged’s other use of his power.

All the details will follow later in the book, but not wanting to leave you hanging on, i’ll quickly talk about George Harvey. A regular soldier who walked into to the Great war with a friend from his village. A friend whose name was Ged, and a friend who would learn and feel for the first time how it felt to have a brother.

What George’s spiritual brother did i will talk about later as i mentioned, but in no mans land in the Somme in 1914 as shells and gas rained down on Ged and Tom, Ged broke his code, and created another soul for his fallen brother. A soul that was protected with all the power of life itself. A soul that would see the end of the first world war and grow old with happiness.

For those who new him and said that he had a guardian angel. Well they were not so far from the truth.
The beginning
Long ago Ged had a clear path, uncomplicated and with what seemed to be with purpose. This path and purpose has long since drifted out of a memory which was becoming more and more mortal. Being buried by one theory, belief or another.

One memory remains however, about the beginning and the choice he made. To descend to this lovely planet earth. To taste the fruit and see the beauty of all it’s content.

Oh but what a choice, to give away your being and become something else. With the warning that there will be no undoing the drastic action shouted loud and ringing in all of your life’s ears.


A cold goal

Outside of the safety of the weekend’s guilt.

Sits an uncomfortable follow on thought of excess.

Held fast by id and a sense of knowing no is yes.

Some times as close as a turn of a page.

Stopped from turning by the knowing decision of age.

If Scott had put one ton camp where it was supposed to be.

A few more life saving miles south you see.

Had he taken as was always planned four to the pole.

Kept scientific endeavour as his ultimate goal.

Chipping away at a frozen sleeping bag, as he searched into his ill fated soul.

Was not part of the frozen prize he realised.

As everyone cried

For all who died.


Aunty Jill x

For me the worth was more than while for just one thought and just one smile.

As my Aunty Jill and i saw each others thoughts, and later talked liked friends.

So much for me to know she knows i’ve missed her.

And so as such i’ll show i love her, as a friend not just as my Father’s sister.

The red shorts were a distant muted laugh, and i’d forgiven her selling them on Arnold flea.

Until she smilingly gave me the photograph…..

Then passed it round, for all to see….
To be continued…..