Father and Daughter To See

Watching her love and admiration surface.

Animated with a pride she can’t hide.

Reaching into a past to find the man behind her father.

Who loved her more, for far and wide.

Hearing a tribute from a lovely wrinkled face.

And behind it a friend with many shared years.

That opens a thought to confirm her fathers kindness.

To confirm her fathers cares.

I love watching her love and admiration surface.

She and I know it was always a part of her.

Just as his pride and love for her shone out to me.

Father and daughter to see, as close as can be.



A Portrait in flour


A private portrait daubed in flour on the clean surface is remembered long after the rock Cakes are buttered and eaten.

Just as a moment sharing time with a small girl who says Daddy will become the most important shared moment of all his life.

Years later with a grown up tear the small girl, now a Women and yet still with space to keep her small self inside.

Recalled the moment she shared with a now frail Father who still wanted to remember the private portrait daubed in flour on the clean surface.

As he smiled and died holding the loving hand that painted it.


for the family of the brothers x

Made me cry that his Brother tried to save his life.

With all my heart i hope that the Brother survives.
And far from feel the the guilt we think he would.
He feels alive and knows that he has to now live the lives.
Of two, and knowing he was loved so much.
Take his loving Brother with him in his heart as he shares the happiness.
Knowing love like this is surrounded in sadness.
I just want his brother to survive for them both.

Well under ten.

Happy day in Italy with Dad x

Once when we were camping and i was well under ten.

Well under ten but old enough to lie in bed and hear my dad call someone.

A pasty faced pillock.

Well old enough but under ten to hear someone say, say that again.

And under ten but well able to hear my dad say pasty faced pillock not again.

But again and again.

Even well under ten i knew by now my mum had done some gypsy thing and saved.

Someones holiday.

Years later at university someone asked what happens when an unstoppable force meets an un moveable object?

I said they got married stupid.


New year message late but well worth the wait x


As one year screamed into another and for a wonderful while we all forgot to ignore each other.

Well i wondered while i waited at the station to pick up my lovely Jo what it was i liked about the year before, and then i thought about what it was the new one had in store.

Starting pauliepaul verses the world was high on my list, being able to publish my mad verse and words made me happy, and yet at the same time made me sad.

Listening to Jo’s wonderful new songs being produced with positivity was high up so high up as well.

Learning to deal with a growing Daisy will i think be on this list for as long as i can try to help her.

Me: “daisy what are you rebelling against?”

Daisy: “what have you got!”

Of course it was a brilliant Brando saying the above, and dealing with a growing Daisy will be the constant that helps me to try to understand that love is saving the last word for a fond goodbye not to create a cry or a sad bedtime.

The new year will be more than fine as it brings a smile and me Jo and Daisy girl are going to go the extra mile to find: “A warm beach!”

How shallow is that? and I’m talking about the sea…. Big love x

The blog made me happy and yet sad because i want it to be a bound book, with love to my Mum and all written on the inside cover.

Go get your dreams this year…


I want a cuddle not a Bear from a fraught Europe


As a child I had a teddy bear with straw in, and i also had bad hay fever.

I think the allergy was blatently brought on by the bear.

I don’t blame the bear well who would. Some.

But the fact of the act of i’m guesing my grandad bringing back a straw filled bear from a fraught Europe.

I think at least made me wheeze, cough and have a tight chest, not to mention the hint of menace i felt from the bare German bear.

Well i believe my cousin Robert had the straw filled German bear first and i like to think that i had it last.

When later in life under lights as they asked me questions about the straw filled German bear i would declare.

It was full of straw and made me sneeze and it was bald by the time i had it anyway, sans fur.

Also i added with the confidence that age provides that thinking about it now, I never understood why i ended up with the second hand bald straw filled German bear in the first or second place!

And further to that! why out of fright! i never repeated the things that bear whispered to me in German at night!

We did French at school, je nais conprend pas!

You Shnell!


Tartan tin the fix is in.

A tartan tin.
A tartan tin.

At school when i was young i won a prize for making shortbread.
I made it all by myself at home and took it to school in a tartan tin.

I remember forgetting all about it, after all the shortbread was made and handed in.
All i was thinking about was my mums tartan tin.

I was sure mum said i had to bring back the tartan tin, i assumed whether i won or not.
When i got home and gave mum back her tartan tin with the first prize rosette on.

I can’t remember what she said but she was happy to have her tin back, and surprised to see i’d won.

The other shortbread must have been bad i thought for my shortbread to win.
Then i thought, was my win all because of my mums tartan tin?


When are Mum’s going to be back in charge?

Still from 3 days in London film by Sasha
Still from 3 days in London film by Sasha

More children murdered for learning today.
Well what do you say about that..
What can you say?
Apart from mumble as you shake your head.
Then repeat something your Mum said.

“Why are they so angry?
That they can murder children with ease, for a cause for a faith.
What do they say when they visit their mums, these murdering sons?”

I mention religion to my mum, and i light her fuse.

“Taking responsibility for our own actions was something that was always difficult to teach.” Said mum.
“You had to be there and learn and make mistakes, but whoever you worship and whatever your thoughts. There has to be a rule.

“You don’t kill innocent children as their learning in their school.”


Real thoughts of affection x (for Vanetta and Andrew with brothers love x)

First listend to when I was 15 at my Sisters new home on Andrews stereo x
First listend to when I was 15 at my Sisters new home on Andrews stereo x

Remembering things that actually happened.
Thinking on thoughts that started a smile or created a cry. Further thoughts that ask why do I die?

Remembering when my Sister got married, I was young and my Sister was getting married?

I was still young when I wished I’d had the time to know her as I grew older.
Before she met a wonderful man and became a wonderful wife.
She was young and so brave to change her life.

I was there to see her meet someone so perfect and strong for whatever reason.

Giving up the time I wished I’d spent with my Sister later made perfect sense.

Sense I saw playing catchup with my Vanetta in her early married home. Cold with only coal fires but warmed with a life together starting love.

Visiting her and getting to know with a fondness a man who I can say it has been a respectful pleasure to know, was, by the way.. silver lined, an introduction to saying goodbye to a Yellow brick road and finding a 7 inch “just another day.” Was May I say a lovely lining, but much more.

Much more than giving a young boy a passion for Mcartney  was letting him share in his Sisters lovely new life by an open fire on Old Hall Road.

pauliepaul with much affection xx

Menu de la Vie

Lavish Rules interior.
Lavish Rules interior.

My favourite breakfast was in the south of France, not the food, that was croissant et cafe creme.
But sitting outside of the cafe in Cassis, alone with my Citroen parked a meter away to take me anywhere I wanted, made my memorable breakfast help me feel free, and taste the holliday happiness of being young.

My favourite dinner was with my lovely Jo on my birthday. She took me to Rules the oldest restaurant in London and we were welcomed with smiles and the taste of the food was only surpassed by my ever so expensive single malt, which I had for my pudding.

After the meal we had drinks at the top of Centre Point and I looked over the London night with a wonderful cocktail and a wonderful sight.
And the view was fine as well.

My favourite super was full with family by the shore of lake Garda. The heat of the day stayed until late and reminded me how brown I was.
My Dad was buoyant with stories and my Mum was laughing and my Sister cemented the love of us all as we shared a time together I will remember forever.

A cracking menu de la vie although I did skip lunch x