One time I answered the phone and a man said he was going to take me to the flippin cleaners.
I asked him how long he’d be because I had a suit that needed doing and some curtains with a bit of poo on from when Uncle Brian stayed.
The Man said he’d be round in 5 fuckin minutes and I thought he was keen.
On the way out my phone rang and it was my Mum, She asked me if I wanted to go round for a chicken dinner.
I said I couldn’t because a bloke was coming round to take me to the cleaners.
She said could you pop round here I’ve got some curtains that need doing from when your Uncle Brian stayed, he can’t get up the stairs so he has a poo in the plant pot and wipes his bum on the curtains.
I said I know mum? But I don’t really know this bloke but I’ll ask him.
Mum said tell him I’ll treat him.
I said ok and was standing outside when a huge Jag screached up and a huge man got out.
I said I’ve just got the one bag but could we pop around to my mums she’s got some curtains with a bit of poo on I said she’ll treat you.
The man asked me if I was a comedian and I said I’d done a couple of open mike nights.
He said his name was Mike and I said fair enough like you know.
And he opened up.