When Tony Crook called me up, I was sitting on my bed in my flat on Crouch Hill.
I wasn’t sure who it was at first and why he had called.
Then when he said he had a rather nice 411 coming in and would I like to see it,
I was at Kensington Hight Street before he put the phone down.
An afternoon spent talking to Tony Crook with my bestest friend John P Is such an important part of my life, and try and buy an afternoon listening to Tony Crook and tales of racing cars and flying fighters.
I liked him so much and when he died I was so sad and I said he phoned me up one day.
To anyone who would listen.
But I don’t think anyone knew how much it meant to me.
In the 70’s my uncle Brian set up a charity wanking tramps off.
Today he’s got 400 wankers working for him
They moved into Europe but you have to wank them off on the wrong side of the road and you have to have a warning triangle and spare bulbs
I asked a wanker about the work
He said the hardest part of the job was the tramps cock
And some tramps get carried away and try to kiss you and ask if they can see you again
One tramp said he liked tea bagging but I saw no one with any hot drinks
Tess was staring out of the window deep in thought one rainy week day resisting the temptation to munch a rather fat meat fly.
Buzz of Tess thought, as she thought of her friends and as she thought of Jack the boat dog who lived on the canal in the city, then she thought of Billy, and all her friends she hadn’t seen for such a long time. She missed them all so much and as she missed them she became ever so slightly sad
Ah yes Steph, once again the friends and people whose hearts you have touched.
Will gladly help and care, and share your journey again.
Only try to share the pain, because i don’t know if we know how.
Yet it seems that everyone feels with you.
And it seems that to be cared about as much as you are.
Will ease any pain, again and again.
And it seems being cared about as much as you are.
Will bring a smile to carry.
However how far x
When we were younger we owned everything.
We could stop soho traffic with lies, cross casually across continental borders without supplies.
We would question Policemen at random on Frith Street playing Trivial Pursuit with two cards.
Meet tramps and take them to Scotland without a map a clue or a route.
With the windows open..
When we were properly married with wives, we would easily squeeze a week out of an early doors pint.
When I was distraught, John came and found me in The Dog and Duck.
Because he cared and knew I was down on my luck.
We got in his car and went to the sea, and I threw up in a Southend bin.
I did a lot, take the egg from his Scotch, and break his company car, and keys as we payed each other in tulips and fried egg sandwiches.
When we get old we’ll laugh so much for years about one minute we shared with each other at some point.
Best friends are what we did, best friends are what we do.
Birthdays are birthdays but when you wish a happy birthday to someone your more than glad and happy and shout because her being born makes your life worth while
And buying a card and spending time with her on that special day brings more than a smile
And you love her so much as I do x
Dad wasn’t on top form one year and he asked me to help tow the caravan down to Italy with him and Mum.
We set off, me keeping the peace with a referees whistle until the M25 stopped working and we all queued to get off it, and got off it in the middle of nowhere.
I headed South and was soon passing under suicide Bridge then on and along my hallowed Holloway Road.
Mum was asleep as I feathered the caravan over Tower Bridge, me and Dad were talking Dad was telling stories. He told me about the time they robbed the American payroll in Germany whilst on National service. Then, just as Mum was waking on The Old Kent Road, Dad said “don’t tell your Mam Son” and I said “right o Dad” and then we were quiet for a bit.
On the Swiss border the Swiss border Guard pointed at a spot he wanted me to stop at.
I didn’t stop at his spot I passed it and stopped at mine. I smiled at my Mum and I smiled at my Dad but they didn’t smile back at all.
Because the Swiss border guard went up the flippin wall.
My Dad said “you wait here Son” as he got out and spoke with the Swiss border guard for more than a while.
After my Dad had got back in the car, the Swiss border guard walked around to my open window.
He reached inside and gently touched my hand and as he held it in broken English he said “have no fear have no fear” just as his other hand was wiping away a Swiss border guard tear.
He gave me some chocolate and waved us through and Mum said “are we stopping soon I fancy a cup of tea.”
We stopped at the foot of the Simplon Pass and Dad said “give me the keys Son I’ll take it from here” and Mum said he “always drives The Simplon.”
I said “right o” and got in the back and shut my mouth and my eyes quite tight.
At the top of The Simplon Pass is a Bar.
Me and Mum went in and had a drink and we stayed in there for quite a while.
And after a few drinks later as we were walking back to the car.
Just as she was feeling a little bit typsy.
Mum said “I know what happened in Germany but don’t tell your Dad”and I said “right o Mum.”